Intellectual Decay

Note: I coined that term a few months ago while describing the downward trend of education in our society.

With that in mind...

The AP U.S history test is considered to be one of the hardest exams of its kind.

Roughly 60% of people who take it fail, if I remember correctly.

In May, after months of anxiety and almost driving myself to the literal brink of insanity via hours of intense studying, I took the American history Advanced Placement exam. So did McKenzie McCann.

Now, do give you an idea of just how rigorous this test is, allow to explain what's involved. Students are expected to write three essays in an hour and thrity minutes as well as answer eighty multiple choice questions. We had studied everything from Columbus' "discovery" of America all the way up to the 1980s in preparation. Most people take the test as a junior in high school. I was a sophomore.

How it's scored is that a bunch of tests are spread out on a table and some professors or historians look them over and score them based on the numbers 1 to 5. A 1 means you fail; no college will give you credit. A 4 or 5 means you can get into any college you want. A 3 is technically passing and you have a pretty good chance of getting credit from most colleges. But of course there is a difference between what's written on paper and what a college actually looks for.

Ready for it? ...I got a 2. "Possibly qualified" as they put it.

Granted, I acknowledge that the experience of having taken this test already does look good on paper regardless of my score. Colleges are impressed by people who go the extra mile. Supposedly it proves they really want to learn for the sake of learning, or to get a good job, which these days requires a college education. I also acknowledge that if I major in English, my chances of getting a good job in that field are slim. So why do I cling to this dream of mine? Simple: I believe in learning for the sake of learning.

If I college were to accept me, I would work my ass off to glean whatever I could from the experience. However, they would also have to accept the fact that I suck at math. It's that simple. No one gains anything by me pretending to be good at something I am not. If I took calculus in high school because it looks good on paper, I would be lying both to colleges and to myself.

Listen, I don't know if this makes any sense or not, but I hate that we capitalize education the way we do. I understand that schools must have standards, but the fact is that stupider people than me graduate from college every year. Grades and tests are not an accurate measure of intelligence. But then, what is? I admit I don't have an answer. It's when students who genuinely want to learn for the sake of learning don't get the opportunity because they lack the money or extra curricular activities that the system fails. Colleges do not look at the person, they look at the paper. That's my theory anyway.

I'd like to know your thoughts.

Slightly From The Left

I'm what they call "legally blind" or "visually impaired." The latter is a better term, but all it really means is that I can't drive. It also is the reason I hated books as a child, because I couldn't read them unless they were in large print, which few books are. Then I got this wonderful piece of technology that consists of a giant monitor and a camera. You put books under it and the print appears larger on the screen. Now I love books. I also love writing. I still fail those eye tests though.

I was born at 24 weeks. As you may know, the average full-term pregnancy is 40 weeks. At first everyone assumed I was going to die, but after several surgeries and months in the hospital, everything seemed to be working right...except my eyes.

An infection left them with no choice but to remove my lenses, lest I become completely blind. So here I am 16 years later with an almost entirely useless right eye. I make due though. I'll be fine.

Anyway, in art class we had been assigned self portraits, which involves looking at yourself in a mirror and drawing what you see. This is when I noticed that I can't actually look at myself straight on; I will always see my face slightly from the left. In fact, my whole world view is slightly from the left and never realized it before.

We all have different perspectives, sometimes without realizing it.

Sucking

My desire to write poetry comes to life like a match and dims just as quickly. Today I don't want to write poetry. In fact, today I don't want to do much of anything.

I mainly write fanfiction. But before you stop reading, hear me out. I write decent fanfiction, or I try to anyway. Many of the negative stereotypes those who write it receive are partly deserved, but its reputation is not always accurate.

My best friend, McKenzie McCann - You'll hear about her a lot; she also blogs and she's part of the reason I'm writing this now - has written three books. She's sixteen. I will be sixteen later this month as well. I've never written a book, although I do hope to one day be a published author.

Maureen Johnson, who as you might guess is a professional author, once said that you have to give yourself permission to suck for many years before you are ready to write something decent. I've written fanfiction for years, and it's something I'm generally comfortable with. The same goes for poetry more or less. Maybe in the process of all this I'll learn to be comfortable with blogging, too. Just bear with me, folks, and you're welcome to come along for the ride.

My point is that much of our lives can summed up in the same way. We are born, we suck for a while, then we learn to be comfortable with ourselves. It applies to more than just writing.

I thank you, humble reader, for taking time to read my ramblings.

- Blessings to you all!